Everything I Don't Claim: Snickerdoodles Picture Recipe

I think I mentioned making these cookies on my twitter the other day. They're already gone, because they were OH MAN SO GOOD. So I'm making another batch today! Decided to do a picture recipe because I felt like looking ridiculous on camera.

First, open up your old, beaten-up and falling apart "pie-cover" Betty Crocker book. Take care of the precious old thing because it's out of print and impossible to find ANYWHERE EVER.

Get anal about your apron's strap being NOT TWISTED.

Start putting ingredients in your GREAT KA. Or if you don't have one, a normal bowl or carved stone or giant leaf or what have you.
Start with 1/2 cup each of butter and lard. If you don't have Crisco, as nobody really should, then just use more butter instead.

Yummy.

1 1/2 cups sugar, and 2 eggs.

Get April Fooled by your sister. These probably shouldn't be cooked!

Mix until blended or whatever. Once that's all smooth and delicious and fatty looking, add the dry ingredients. 2 3/4 cups flour, first.

Freak out because you almost don't have enough flour because you used it all yesterday.

2 teaspoons cream of tartar, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1 teaspoon baking soda.

WHICH SPICE SHOULD I TAAAAAAAKE I'm going to hell

It is crucial that you get the cream of tartar and salt absolutely EVERYWHERE. Just trust me. It's crucial.

Mix up! It should be pretty dry and a little clumpy. Don't worry. If you can squish it together, it's fine.

My favorite part- licking the beater. Please make sure beater is detached from mixer first. I don't want to be responsible for any lost tongues, thanks.

SPRAY YOUR COOKIE SHEET, PEOPLE. I like to use "baking pam" because it smells good and doesn't leave a normal-food-like residue on your sheet. It's all flour-ey and baked-good-like. Because it's cool like that.

Be amazed that your sister took this shot. Holy crap. Dem particles.

Now is a good time to mix your cinnamon sugar. 2 teaspoons cinnamon and 2 tablespoons sugar, adjust to taste- I'm sensitive to spices so I go a little light on the cinnamon and a little heavy on the sugar.

Holy crap look at this picture too.

Make sure there's no LEFTOVER CAKE in the oven. You know, just as a precaution. So that if you happen to be 11 years old and attempting to help your dad make fish sticks, you don't re-bake said cake.

Yep, it's empty!

My book says to heat your oven to 400, but I did that with my first batch the other day and my cookie sheet got all deformed and funny when I took it out. I'll stick with 375 and leave it in for a few extra minutes instead.

A safe temperature.

ROLL YOUR BALLS IN SUGAR, KIDS. THE LADIES LIKE DEM SUGARY BALLS.

About ye' big.

Get your cinnamon-sugar-ey fingers all up in that dough. Don't worry, the dough doesn't care.

Place the cookies about this far apart on the sheet, size-relative. They don't expand a HUGE amount.

Like I said, my book says 8-10 minutes at 400 degrees. If you know your equiptment of choice can handle it, go ahead, but I go with 375 for about 10 minutes.

Our microwave beeps louder than the oven, so I don't use the oven timer. I don't want to miss it!

SHARK MITT

Be careful! Even at just 375, you're going to get a face full of HEAT WAVE.

Let them cool for about 10-15 minutes before trying to move them. You'll risk getting burned, and your cookies will fall apart. Once they're cool, though, you probably won't even need a spatula because PAM IS AWESOME and they'll just slide right off!